Thursday, March 24, 2011

How to Load a Truck

(Click image to view larger.)
  1. When loading your truck, try to cram as much as possible into a single load. This will demonstrate your efficiency and will save time and petrol. Spare no thought for the load-carrying capacity of the vehicle, its size or its longevity. Bonus points: Use a very small truck to carry a very big load.
  2. Try to use boxes of as many different shapes and sizes as possible, as this turns the otherwise menial and mundane task of loading the truck into a fun and interesting challenge.  If you wish, you can try and fit the boxes together as best you can. Bonus points: Do not try to fit the boxes together in a logical way – simply lash them together any way you can, as randomly-fitted boxes add to the likelihood that one will fall off and strike a pedestrian or cyclist, for which you will score extra points.
  3. Use as little rope as possible. Don’t even think about a cargo net. This demonstrates your daring, as it shows that you do not care if anything falls off your truck and injures anyone who might be rash enough to want to use the road at a time when you are ferrying your load. It will also mean that you have spare rope to fix your truck when it breaks down because you have overloaded it. Bonus points: Place some items in such a manner that they are not secured by anything at all. If you really want to demonstrate your panache, do this on a rough road in a crowded place.
  4. Try to arrange your load so that it is unbalanced and leans to one side of the truck. This shows that you can think outside the square, and will also demonstrate what a good driver you are if you are able to drive your unbalanced vehicle in a straight line. Bonus points: Do this at speed on a windy day.
  5. Do not concern yourself with the long line of traffic that will build up behind you as you travel to your destination.  Most people like to spend time in traffic on a hot day, and many will gladly remain behind you by choice, so that they can admire your stylish load. Bonus points: Break down.

5 comments:

  1. Thanks for cheering me up with this!

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL, this "how to " is the most occurate I'd ever read. I saw one day a horse cart carrying a car, so nothing can amaze me now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha ha! A horse cart carrying a car is a new one for me. However, last week I did see an entire herd of goats being loaded into the luggage bays of a luxury bus!

    ReplyDelete
  4. May be they were VIP goats, who knows?

    ReplyDelete

You might also like...

Related Posts with Thumbnails